1. |
13 years in Oregon
02:59
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13 years in Oregon
I’m loaded in a bar, yeah - Boston house
Passed the time with slides and whiskey
As the rain came down
The deadfall didn't catch me but the blackjack did
woke up in the morning on a full rigged brig
The gold rush took the pool
Andrew Miller paid for men
Two thousand and the Indian
Two shave whores, men from the morgue
drunk and drugged it's all aboard
Shanghaied waking on a ship
Shanghaied, head bursting split
I don't recognise my name
Now I'm heading for the Orient with no pay
The rolling ship it cursed the waves
The ladders saw him fall
The bosons loaded to the gunwales
Like the night before
The captain in a fiery rage called the cabin boy
He says bring the captains daughter, her services employed
Now Young Turk got our pity, the cat came from the sack
Tied screaming to the bimmy more than 50 cross his back
When he died three days later, did you hear his prays o-lord?
The old man gave the order and we threw him overboard
Chorus
Three months blood money paid for me
To the king of the crimps Bunco Kelly
He’s a wealthy man, cos he sold my misery
And now I know that worse things happen out at sea
Chorus
I served aboard for many the year
From the orient to Portland pier
Took the blows and sore abuse
Woken for the sailors use
My youth both loved and despised
Turn him over damn his eyes
Pick that meat from off his bones and throw the rest to Davy Jones
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2. |
Spoons
03:20
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10o’clock, here’s the suicide squad
down at Wetherspoons.
Coffee fills the air cos it’s advertised
A pot is bubbling on the side.
At eleven o’clock here come the football boys, town’s at home today
There’s a guy with an hole in his jacket on the bandit
and he’s happy while he’s throwing all his money away.
The bars’ getting busy, it’s dinnertime
Now they drink coffee some chat over wine
And the staff are running round on minimum wage.
At 2 o’clock you can see the noise, the calm before the storm
The football boys announce their departure and arrival with a song here we go, here we go here we go
The Wi-Fi is free; some have two phones one is for work and another for home
Now we all get to spend more time together alone.
Every time I go to a Wetherspoons, I wonder what it used to be,
A cinema, a swimming pool an opera house, the pictures on the wall will tell me.
There’s a quote on the wall, control the past control the present
No use for cash, people pay with their phones order food with an app
Now they got ya details, you’ve just been had
Every time I go to a Wetherspoons, I see Orwell spin in his grave, cos the moon under water’s nothing like it oughta be.
At 6 o’clock there’s a change of staff
There’s a change in mood when a glass is smashed
on a big TV you can see the results
Town have lost again, at the bar there’s a scuffle
But there’s normally trouble, win or lose or a draw
There’s nothing to see, your life’s on repeat
You got 8 more hours on your feet
So ignore the abuse you’ve got targets to meet
You got punters to serve and a shithouse to clean
There’s a row about the beer mats
48 and the 52
That’s hardly the many and it’s barely the few
The night gets longer the stories get taller
As the drinks get smaller, it seems everyone gets louder
Then the hens lift the spirits when they arrive
But it comes to an end with sirens and blues lights
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3. |
Blackpool
03:51
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BLACKPOOL
Blackpool is the home of shit tattoos
it's the home of the STD
it's home to its fair share of knob head bouncers
and Gypsy Rosie Lee
the spiritual home of Stanley Matthews
Where Alan Bradley died
the stag night capital of the world
Every weekend there’s a fight – fight -fight
Where the hat sez kiss me quick
And the rocks three quid a stick
You can get your fortune told, if you cross Rosie’s palm with gold – gold – gold
She said love is on the cards for you
But be mindful of your health
In spoons you’ll met a lady
That’s the cards that you’ve been dealt
An encounter with a strangers gonna hurt you for a while
I smiled she winked and I said goodbye
I checked my watch 10:30, I was getting thirsty
so it’s breakfast and a pint for me
A steady stroll up to the pier
I’m getting ready for that beer
When suddenly this girl appears
We was outside Layton rakes
I was there to meet my mates
For breakfast and some beers
Her patina from Ibiza
Her bag from Matalan
The tattoo on her neck
Was done in honour of her gran
I bought the girl a drink or two and laid on all my charms
3 blue wickeds later she was wrapped up in my arms
I found love in Blackpool
We rode the donkeys on the beach
I kissed her on the big one
And back at the B&B
I found love in Blackpool
On a stag night with me mates
All the lads got tattoos
To remind us of the day
We saw the sites, drank in the bars
And marvelled at the tower
We was back in spoons for happy hour
We was sitting at the bar,
I heard some chanting from afar
That’s went things turned sour
I found out to my cost
That the Seasiders had lost
a big lad took a swing at me
All I did was ask the score
Then I woke up on the floor
I think that’s what Rosie had seen
I lost some teeth in Blackpool
The bouncer bust my jaw
Them knob heads wouldn’t listen
They threw me out the door
I lost some teeth in Blackpool
Now I’m eating through a straw
And I came back with herpes
And my tattoo is bleeding, it’s weeping, it’s angry
My tattoo is angry and raw.
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4. |
Let it stand
03:02
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There’s a statue planned for Grantham
I don’t think, it’s gonna last long
I don’t think it’s gonna last long at all
Cos whatever it’s made from it’s gonna have to be strong
or surrounded by a forty foot wall
Hated by the lefties, worshipped by the right
It’s a target for a viral vid, viral overnight
Northern town destruction
There’s no calcium in my bones
There’s’ a Lack of social housing an affordable homes
Your legacy is everywhere for everyone see
There’s no such thing as society
You drove the nail in the coffin of communities
Now ghost town generations
Live your policies
With zero hour contracts, food banks for the poor
In-work poverty – listen up there’s more
This verse is nothing new, you know its 40 years old
All that once was British has now been sold
Life blood of communities all shut down
So every where’s the same in these forgotten northern towns
So let it stand, as a symbol to lost workers’ rights
Let it stand to remind us of the miners’ strike
Let it stand as a monument to the poll tax riots
and let it stand to unite us , don’t give up the fight.
The greengrocer’s daughter on a pedestal
Surrounded by CCTV
That’s nothing to admire
And it’s nothing to aspire to
Hateful ideology
Sink or swim divisive rule
Designed to see the weakest fall
Cruel and ruthless
Heartless conscious
Profits over people
So let it stand as a beacon to hope not hate
Let it stand in defiance of section 28
Let it stand for resistance to all that’s wrong
And let it stand as inspiration for a protest song
Let it stand in isolation
As cold as stone
Let it spark imagination
To ask why is she alone
Let it stand in wretched glory
Let it tell its wretched story
As a lesson to us all let it stand.
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5. |
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Just around the corner
The day I bought my council house, was the best day of my life
A loan for double glazing to please the lovely wife
I got myself a little shed to house my little bike,
I got a job just round the corner, was a job that I quite liked.
just around the corner, was a job that I quite liked.
we raised a little family, a girl a boy a dog
Debbie sue, and Jason and a mongrel we called Bob
and we’d have fish and chips, Friday, night the kids are both in bed
there’s nothing on the telly and my bike locked in the shed ,
Well I'm up for work on Saturday cos we've got bills to pay
there’s the mortgage and the windows some for a rainy day
and I'm lucky cos I've got a job that I quite like
it was just around the corner I go on my old bike
I rode to work one morning, my boss he sez to me
We got no choice to lay men off and move the factory
You’ll have to take a pay cut, but at least you keep your job
be happy you're not one of those facing the chop
Well I broke the news to my dear wife that very afternoon
I sez , don't you fret and worry love it's not all doom and gloom
We'll have to buy a car tho, it’s a forty mile commute
So it’s a good job that we got savings, we can dip into
Now it's chips n peas on a Friday night The kids won't go to bed
still nothing on the telly now my cars parked by the shed ,
nothing on the telly and my Rovers by the shed
I'm at work on Sunday too, we got more bills to pay
there’s the mortgage, car insurance road tax and mot
I used to have a job that I quite liked
just around the corner I'd go on my old bike
just around the corner I'd go on my old bike
I drove to work one evening there's a meeting in’t canteen
the men are down there's no morale the worst Its ever seen
the gaffers have us gathered now, here comes the body blow
the factory is shutting down your jobs have got to go
now there’s no more chips on a Friday night the kids do in my head
x factor's on the telly and some git broke in my shed
Now I’m on the scrap heap but I don't give a toss
I couldn’t work for nothing or that wanker of a boss
The day I bought my council house was the worst day of my life
a loan for chuffin' everything to please the now ex wife
the kids live with their mother got the bills and got no job
and to top the bugger off just last week we buried Bob.
yes to top the bugger off just last week we lost the dog
I used to have a job that I quite liked
It was just around the corner, I would go on my old bike
and I used to call the boss a friend of mine
but that's no longer true cos he's a two faced lying swine
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6. |
Another Lidl song
04:00
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We shopped at Lidl, when you thought it was funny
Aldi before it was trendy
When half of the stuff they had on the shelf
We’d test on the dog before we’d eat it ourselves
cos no one knew what was in them cans
Just some funny looking food from far off lands
Now everyone’s got less money
And our taste buds are not so funny
We’ve tighten our belts and lied to ourselves
We said everything is rosy, it’s just fine
Debbie Sue and Jason are growing up fast
They’re saving up deposits for little flats
They both work at spoons on minimum wage
cos that’s all there’s is round here these days
Me and the missus try and help out where we can
We made a few cut backs, well, that’s the plan
We sit and watch Lewis’s money saving guide
We‘ve switched our broadband, the gas and our leccy supply
And we cancelled the pet insurance
we get all the dogs pills online
I’m pretty sure they’re be working
cos we hardly ever hear Bob whine
Then we blown out the sky subscription
We both stopped going out drinking
The truth is, nobody out, every where’s the same
I’ve always said it’s more than just the smoking ban to blame
We both vape now it’s cheaper than fags
And Domingo baccy that we got from France
Now our only chance of holidays a PPI claim,
Or that accident I may have had when I was not to blame
Cos everyone’s got less money
And that Lidl song’s not so funny
We’ve tighten our belts, we’ve lied to ourselves
we said everything was rosy, it’s just fine
Fun size bollocks
Bite size shite
Where getting ripped off
it’s just not right
The bags are lighter
The bars are smaller
There’s less in the bottles
Now they’re thinner and taller
You get less for your pound now
We’ve all been tricked
Now you only get 5 where you once got 6
What on earth has happened to this dying nation?
It’s down on its knees
But it’s not Shrinkflation
Yes, I know there are massive gaps in Toblerone
And less and thinner sheets on our bog rolls
But there’s more important things that is happening to you
Have you accepted that’s just how it is, there’s nothing you can do
Our swimming baths have shut, the library’s next
The fire station police station there’s not much left
I think that we all need a pay rise 11%‘ll do
Cos what’s good for the gander’s good for the goose.
Everyone has got less money; our taste buds are not so funny,
We tightened our belts we lied to ourselves
that everything is rosy, everything is rosy, everything is rosy it’s just fine.
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7. |
Kyle & Norton
03:02
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Kyle sez to Norton lets swap shows
Just for a week to see how it goes…
Well that sound great Norton agrees
It’s just the show mind not the fees
Now Kyle’s doing Norton and Norton’s doing Kyle
But they both still act the same
Graham’s laughing at stories bout drinking and gambling
and cutting up cocaine
Now he’s fawning over tales from the council estate?
About Big Kev, Steve and their dodgy mate Dave
there’s tear drop tattoos, a few missing teeth
They’re joined on the couch by a girl called Shanice
There’s Fosters in cans the audience approve
clapping; loving the open abuse
The polygraph says that kids not yours
But no one hears Norton over the applause
If you’re bored and broke
have a whiff and a toke
There’s nothing left to do
But dreaming of a better day
Down at Wetherspoons
Well it must be tough, there’s no jobs up there
If every things shut down
It’s either sell your gold or sell your soul
In them rough arsed northern towns ….
Sympathy and empathy are both in the room
Norton’s got a tear in his eye
But it’s a different story a click away
Over on channel 5
Now Kyle has ‘em whooping in an hostile room
Deftly applying divide and rule
Heroin! he cries - what’s wrong with you
and they call you a role model ………
You’ve got the world at your feet
And that’s not enough
All your kids have got different mums
Your tax avoidance is questionable
A six figure sum
Boredom, divorce, drinking and drugs
Loopholes to exploit
Lawyers employed the best around
To keep things out of court
Don’t tell me you’re bored
You got a beautiful wife
Cash in the bank you’re set for life
You’ve been sleeping around
You’ve let ya family down
Now, I’m sick of listening to you
The baying and the booing are getting to him
But Kyle keeps chipping away
The drug test has proved positive
You should be locked away.
Two weeks later the swop is done
Normality returns to five and one
Again they’re cheering the substance abuse
The drinking the nightlife, they’ve all been seduced
The twinkle is fading but none of his charm
Norton is grinning with two open arms
They all join in when he burst into song
Had his boredom been cured, was it merely prolonged?
It’s such a forgiving crowd…
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8. |
Freethinker
02:12
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FREETHINKER
How can you sing a love song, you've never been in love
do you still hold faith, now you’ve seen us from above
writers win our history, fiction sells the truth
you look into my red eyes, now give me back my tooth
I won't take it as it comes no more
I'll pull against your open door
look around the corner you know it's not a sin
don't tell me what to think cos,I will question everything,
I'm a freethinking man, I don't need no guiding hand
I'm a freethinking man and I don't care if I'm damned
the centre of the universe, celebrated births, infidels and burnings, we’re
falling from the earth, the mighty, the chosen, golden crowns
The guilty ask the price and the innocent will drown.
chorus
two thousand years of evolution we're no closer to solution,
face the facts with no delusion, take away all the confusion
so we live with mind pollution, that's political contribution
choice removed by dilution, leaves a poorly substitution
War for peace now that's illusion, delivered with perfect elocution
in the face of destitution, there is only one conclusion
Revolution.
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9. |
Swearing in songs
03:37
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Swearing in Songs
Swearing in songs is not big or clever
Using foul language doesn’t make ‘em better
Cussing, cursing, spitting feathers
Tone it down ya not a gangster rapper
MF this and MF that
F the police
and F the cat
F the system
F this crap
F it all to there and back...
You don’t have to swear you could use different words
Cos parental advisories never get heard
On radio one or 103.2
So here’s a little tip from me to you…
You’ll never get to number one
If you’ve got swearing in your songs
Just like Paul and George and John, (and Ringo)
Leave the swearing out your songs…..
If you wanna be a chart topper
Don’t say shit you could say sugar
Don’t say you wanna fuck her say you wanna love her
And avoid the C bomb all together
It might be that you’re living with Tourette’s
Or maybe you don’t care who you upset…
It’s unlikely that anyone’s impressed
So for Pete’s sake give your foul mouth a rest
Profanities can make vital points
Adding anger to emphasis disjoint
But if you want a number one duck
Take a leaf from Elton John’s book
forget the swears
Use different words
and with a little bit of luck your song just might get heard
You’ll never get to number one
If you’ve got swearing in your songs
Just like Ringo Paul and and John,
leave the swearing out your songs…..
So if you wanna be a chart topper
Don’t say shit when you could say sugar
Don’t say you wanna fuck her say you wanna love her
Avoid the C bomb all together
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10. |
Silence is acceptance
03:04
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You may look at demonstrators
Think of them as trouble makers
Their only interest, break the law
But, I’ll Tip my hat to the agitators
tip my hat to the protesters
Saboteurs and those that heed the call
The activists, the socialists the non-conforming maverick’s
Firebrands, militant, the civil disobedient
The square pegs in the round holes
The atheist in the foxhole
The ones that put two fingers up the ones that just don’t give a fuck
Stubborn and inflexible, rebellious intractable
Its people just like you and me that change the course of history
I take take my hat off to them all…
cos silence is acceptance after all
The suffragettes, antifa , PETA and trade unionists,
Communist, anarchist, pacifists that fought the fascist
Non-compliant mutineers, feminist pioneers
Heretics, malcontent, fly in the ointment
Spanner in the works
Young Turks
Ones that buck the trend
Never buckle, never bend
The risk takers, rule breakers
Greenham ladies rainbow warriors
Resistance on Cable Street
The ones that put two fingers up the ones that just don’t give a fuck
Stubborn and inflexible, rebellious intractable
It’s the Unrelenting visionaries that change the course of history
I’ll take my hat off to them all
cos silence is acceptance
The punks and the poets the stick in the mud
The ones that dig their heels in - Misunderstood
So upset the applecart fuck the status quo
Rock the boat, make some waves
Agitate provoke ….
The punks and the poets, the stick in the mud
Ones that dig their heels in - Misunderstood
So upset the applecart fuck the status quo
Rock the boat, make some waves
Agitate provoke
Educate and organise, agitate provoke.
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11. |
He's got dreads
02:46
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He’s handsome, a little insecure
Trendy shoes and six feet tall
His film star looks will charm the knickers off ya mam
Prefers the book to the film an educated man
He plays guitar drums and flute
Knows every single answer in trivial pursuit
Speaks three languages, 3 degrees
He can rock climb, skateboard does tai chi ……
He’s an expert on subjects that no one understands
Like Brexit, algebra and pineal glands
He’s got dreads, well of course he has
A surf board and a campervan
He’s got dreads, you know he has
Tribal tattoos from Vietnam
Kids love him, he wants four
Knows everything about ‘viron-mental law
He knows the bassist in every band
So he’s always on a guest pass, always on a guest pass - always on a guest pass
He’s vegan, THAT’S OBVIOUS
He buys organic from ethical shops
He’s an activist, campaigning
To raise awareness for the plight of the artic fox
He’s in touch with his feminine side ……
OF COURSE HE IS –
He’s got gay friends, he’s got black friends
He marches every year at pride
He’s everything I’m not; he’s not scared of Davey Watts
He’ll beat anybody’s cousin at Subbuteo
Every set of traffic lights for him are always green
The jammy fuckin’ bastard shagged the carnival queen
He’s got dreads, well of course he has
A surf board and a campervan
He’s got dreads, you know he has
Tribal tattoos from Vietnam
He’s a black belt in bukakke, third dan at mah-jong
Respected by the triads on the back streets of Hong Kong
He listens, he’s tidy, he’s good a DIY
Teetotal and he’s healthy with his no chips perfect smile
With ease he’ll 7 ball ya
He’s the king of Sunday League
Score bull’s-eye, drop the jackpot
Win the raffle and the sweep
Always buys big issue
Blue peter badge on his lapel
His constant use of big words, I don’t know or cannot spell
He’s got dreads, well of course he has
A surf board and a campervan
He’s got dreads, well of course he has
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12. |
Oddly Excluded
03:16
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Pete Drake -
Oddly Excluded
Monday’s the day I got suspicious
in the glove box that’s where I found ya knickers.
Tuesday’s the day that you went to the gym
I know that’s not you and I know it’s for him.
Cos my baby don’t call me baby no more
she’s gone and changed all the locks on the door.
she’s stopped pairing me socks in the drawer
and I’m feeling oddly excluded.
Wednesday’s the day that you made his dinner
I guess he’s getting fatter and I’m getting thinner.
Thursday’s the day you used the toothbrush he bought ya
wasn’t mentally prepared for this dental torture.
Chorus
Friday’s the day that he walked up ya driveway
guess that’s the day that he fucked ya sideway.
Saturday’s the day I found out he’s a dick
while you’re finding out what makes him tick.
Chorus
On my day of rest you asked for a threesome
I said thanks for the offer but that sounds a bit gruesome.
then in the end I came to the conclusion
if I want my socks paired, then I’d better join ‘em.
Now my baby calls me baby once more
she’s gone and had three keys cut for the door
and even though I’ve got to share a sock drawer
I’m feeling oddly included.
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13. |
Sailors' grave
02:49
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Too young to be a man
But he’s old enough to sail
Had a belly full of salt beef
Got a belly full of ale
Bound for lands uncharted, sailing the unknown
Navigating by the stars a thousand miles from home.
Pressed into a life running powder for the guns
It’s a better life to die at sea than dying in the slums
Better is this life for me
Better now to drown at sea
I won’t drown on land in poverty
A strange wind hits the sail from above there came a cry
The storm was born before us when thunder broke the sky
Half way to hell aboard that ship
They were halfway to hell when the black sky split
It’s a sailors grave for me
No angels only mermaids at the bottom of the sea
It’s a sailors grave for me
I’ll be drinking rum with black beard for eternity
The barrel man has Davey’s grip the water has awoke
It shakes the ribs and timbers and bones of the old salt
Prayers are lost upon the wind his grip becomes a choke
Now Davey Jones’ locker is pulling at the boat
Hear Davey play bandoneon across his knee
Nelson hear my shanty, I don’t care if you agree
There’s rum there by the gallon
Enough for all
was the sea that came to take us not the sirens call
Chorus
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Star Botherers UK
Star Botherers - 5 piece band based in Warsop - Notts -
Folk, punk, social
commentary -
Physical and digital options.
Debut Album 'Happy Angry' is available on Bandcamp and other digital platforms -
Latest album - ‘Tales of Layton Rakes’ - released
10th Dec - 2021 - available on all platforms
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